Hopefully you have experienced what it is like to have a best friend or to be a best friend. A best friend is someone that has your back when all else fails in the world, the person you can run to whether things are going the best or the worst of your life. Best friends can take so many shapes – they could be the person you met in gym class in the 6th grade, the person at work that makes it bearable, your spouse, or it could even be your fluffy little four-legged friend. It’s for you to decide, it is your best friend after all.
But why can’t we be our own best friend too?
I have found that more often than not, we are our own worst enemies far more than a friend. We can spend so much time and energy beating ourselves down, especially when we are going through depths of depression or any other life event.
Sound familiar? Maybe you look in the mirror and think awful and terrible things about yourself. Maybe you make a simple mistake and chastise yourself for being so stupid or thoughtless. Maybe when you are experiencing significant life changes or mental health challenges you compare yourself to everyone else and think that you are lazy or worthless. Our hope is that we can bounce back and correct ourselves, that we are able to keep our chin up and see the positive side of things. But, that is not always the case and often not realistic, especially if we don’t have a great support system or if we don’t tell other people how we feel.
Thinking about being your own best friend – would you let your best friend from 6th grade or your partner to be talked to the way that you might sometimes talk to yourself? Would you stand aside while someone criticized and belittled your friend, the same person that you adore and think the world of? No! Most of us would do everything we could to protect them, we would chase that person off and tell our friend they are beautiful, smart, compassionate, funny, amazing and on and on and on (I get it, you really love your friend!). So why, can we not do that for ourselves? Why do we allow such toxic punishment?
Here’s the deal. You deserve better. You deserve the kindness, patience, and compassion you would give to your best friend. You deserve to be your own best friend. Our team of compassionate and skilled therapists at 360 Counseling are here to help you.