Hopefully you have experienced what it is like to have a best friend or to be a best friend. A best friend is someone that has your back when all else fails in the world, the person you can run to whether things are going the best or the worst of your life. Best friends can take so many shapes – they could be the person you met in gym class in the 6th grade, the person at work that makes it bearable, your spouse, or it could even be your fluffy little four-legged friend. It’s for you to decide, it is your best friend after all.

But why can’t we be our own best friend too?

I have found that more often than not, we are our own worst enemies far more than a friend. We can spend so much time and energy beating ourselves down, especially when we are going through depths of depression or any other life event.

Sound familiar? Maybe you look in the mirror and think awful and terrible things about yourself. Maybe you make a simple mistake and chastise yourself for being so stupid or thoughtless. Maybe when you are experiencing significant life changes or mental health challenges you compare yourself to everyone else and think that you are lazy or worthless. Our hope is that we can bounce back and correct ourselves, that we are able to keep our chin up and see the positive side of things. But, that is not always the case and often not realistic, especially if we don’t have a great support system or if we don’t tell other people how we feel.

Thinking about being your own best friend – would you let your best friend from 6th grade or your partner to be talked to the way that you might sometimes talk to yourself? Would you stand aside while someone criticized and belittled your friend, the same person that you adore and think the world of? No! Most of us would do everything we could to protect them, we would chase that person off and tell our friend they are beautiful, smart, compassionate, funny, amazing and on and on and on (I get it, you really love your friend!). So why, can we not do that for ourselves? Why do we allow such toxic punishment?

Here’s the deal. You deserve better. You deserve the kindness, patience, and compassion you would give to your best friend. You deserve to be your own best friend. Our team of compassionate and skilled therapists at 360 Counseling are here to help you.

There is a quote that says, “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them.” This has always been a very moving quote because it always seems like life happens to us, or that we are destined for bad things in our lives. The ship continues to take the risk of sinking, even though it is surrounded by water and constant threat of defeat. That is life in all entirety – the risks are all around us as are the threats to harm or hurt us. These threats could be a multitude of things, such as relationship stress, toxic people, money, school, work, or even sometimes just the thoughts in our own heads. Yet, we must move forward every day. That causes quite a bit of anxiety, right? Anxiety leads us to feel paralyzed at times or to be continuously fearful of the “what ifs” in life; and it can drive us to act irrationally or internalize absolutely everything. But that isn’t what the ships teach us, is it? The ships in the water teach us to prepare and plan for what could happen, but not to be so afraid as to not move forward with our journey. That is how counseling can help – we work to prepare ourselves for what life can throw at us since we cannot always prevent things from happening.

At 360 Counseling we have a team of wonderful therapists that look forward to helping you on your journey and to figure out how not let the water in, whatever that may be, and how to thrive with your own personal growth.

COVID and Depression

Are your struggling with added stress from COVID. You are no different than many others struggling. Clients who already have depression are stating COVID depression is worse. There’s no easy fix for recovering from depression, and finding the energy and motivation to take the first step can be tough. But you have more control over your mood than you may realize.

Here are some helpful tips to help get through these difficult times.

It’s true that these are painful and worrying times, and few people have much to be cheerful about at the moment. But at the same time, depression can make things seem even worse than they really are. When you’re depressed, everything is filtered through a lens of negativity. By simply recognizing that, you can start to change your focus and take the first step to feeling more optimistic.

Distract yourself

When you’re depressed, out of work, and isolated from your social network, the negative thoughts running over and over in your head can seem never ending. But you can break the cycle by focusing on something that adds meaning and purpose to your life. Perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted to learn, like a new language or a musical instrument? Or perhaps you’ve always wanted to write a novel, take up cooking, or grow your own vegetables? Focusing on a project or goal, even a small one, can give you a welcome break from negative thoughts and worries—and add a sense of meaning to your days.

Find simple sources of joy

While you can’t force yourself to have fun, you can push yourself to do things that will boost your mood throughout day. Try listening to uplifting music (even getting up and dancing around if you can) or finding a reason to laugh by watching funny videos on YouTube or episodes of your favorite sitcom. Spending time in nature—whether it’s walking in the park, paddling on the beach, or going for a hike—can ease stress and put a smile on your face, even if you’re alone. Or try playing with your kids or a pet—they’ll benefit as much as you will.

Limit your consumption of news

Yes, you want to stay informed, but over consuming sensationalistic news or unreliable social media coverage will only fuel your negativity and fear. Limit how often you check news or social media and confine yourself to reputable sources.

Maintain a routine

Sleeping too much or too little, skipping meals or exercise, and neglecting your personal care only feeds into your depression. Establishing and maintaining a daily routine, on the other hand, adds structure to your day, even if you’re alone and out of work. Try to include set times for exercising, spending time outside, and communicating with friends each day.
Express gratitude. When you’re depressed, especially at this awful time, it can seem that everything in life is bleak and hopeless. But even in the darkest days, it’s usually possible to find one thing you can be grateful about—the beauty of a sunset or a phone call from a friend, for example. It sounds cheesy but acknowledging your gratitude can provide a respite from negative thinking and really boost your mood.

Find new ways to engage with others

Meeting friends and family in person is still difficult for many of us at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to feeling isolated and alone. While nothing beats the mood-boosting power of face-to-face contact, chatting over a video link, on the phone, or via text can still help you feel more connected. Reach out to close friends and family, take this opportunity to look up old friends, or schedule online get-togethers with groups of people. Even if your depression symptoms make you want to retreat into your shell, it’s vital you regularly stay in contact with people.

How to really CONNECT with others

Whether you’re talking with a friend or loved one at a social distance, via video, or on the phone, it’s important to strive for more than just a surface connection. The deeper the connection you establish, the more you’ll both benefit.

Move beyond small talk

To really establish a connection that will ease your loneliness and depression, you need to take a risk and open up. Sticking to small talk and limiting yourself to a surface connection with others can actually make you feel even lonelier.

Share about yourself
Open up about what you’re going through, the feelings you’re experiencing. It won’t make you a burden to the other person. Rather, your friend or loved one will most likely be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only deepen the bond between you.

Nothing needs to get “fixed”

Depression relief comes from making a connection and being heard by someone. The person you talk to doesn’t need to come up with solutions, they just listen to you without judging or criticizing. And the same is true when you’re listening to them.

Adopt healthy daily habits

Your daily habits can play a big role in helping you to overcome depression. During this health crisis, it’s tempting to slip into bad habits, especially if you’re stuck at home and not able to work. You may sleep irregular hours, overeat to relieve the stress and boredom, or drink too much to fill the lonely evenings. But by adopting a healthier daily routine, you can bolster your mood, feel more energized, and relieve symptoms of depression.

Get moving

Exercising is one of the last things you feel like doing when you’re depressed—but it’s also one of the most effective ways of boosting your mood. In fact, regular exercise can be just as effective as antidepressant medication in relieving depression. Even if you’re still under lockdown or a stay-at-home order, there are creative ways to fit movement into your daily routine.

Practice relaxation techniques

Incorporating a relaxation technique such as meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or a breathing exercise into your daily schedule can provide a welcome break from the cycle of negative thinking, as well as relieve tension and anxiety.

Eat a mood-boosting diet

In times of stress, we of often turn to “comfort foods” packed with unhealthy fats, sugar, and refined carbs. But these foods, along with too much caffeine and alcohol, can adversely impact your mood. Instead, focus on fresh, wholesome foods whenever possible and increase your intake of mood-enhancing nutrients such as omega-3 fatty acids.

Sleep well

Just as depression can impact your quality of sleep, poor sleep can also contribute to depression. When you’re well rested, it’s easier to maintain your emotional balance and have more energy and focus to tackle your other depression symptoms. Changing your daytime habits and bedtime routines can help improve how well you sleep at night.

Use reminders to keep yourself on track

When you’re depressed, it’s easy to forget the small steps that can help to lift your mood and improve your outlook. Keep reminders of the tips that work for you on your phone or on sticky notes around your home.

360 Counseling is always here for you. Please give us a call at 727-804-8623 to schedule an appointment.

The quick answer is YES. Most people experience Anxiety at some point in their life. Anxiety that occurs occasionally and does not affect your daily life can be managed with general coping mechanisms. Anxiety disorders are a real thing. The Term “anxiety disorder” refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry, and includes generalized anxiety disorders, panic attacks, social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, separation anxiety, and specific phobias.

Weighted Blankets….

The new hot item on the market is the weighted blanket. These blankets are used as a coping mechanism for anxiety. I was skeptical at first, however my nine year old has separation anxiety at night. A 7 pound blanket did the trick. She explains it as her blanket is giving her a hug. If you are planning on purchasing a weighted blanket, pay close attention to the weight of the blanket you are purchasing, not everyone can handle 30 pounds. They each come with weight guidelines.

Anxiety Disorders…

Anxiety disorders are a real thing. The term “anxiety disorder” refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry, and includes generalized anxiety disorders, panic attacks, social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, separation anxiety, and specific phobias.

Can Vacations really bring on Anxiety???

Anxiety can strike at any time. Most people do not realize but going on vacation can cause major stress with people. Having to book the trip, travel, expenses and a change in routine can increase anxiety in most people. We sometimes say I need a vacation from my vacation. This is because vacations can be more stressful than relaxing.

What are Anxiety disorders?

It’s normal to feel anxious about moving to a new place, starting a new job, or taking a test. This type of anxiety is unpleasant, but it may motivate you to work harder and to do a better job. Ordinary anxiety is a feeling that comes and goes, but does not interfere with your everyday life.

Anxiety disorders are the most common form of emotional disorder and in the case of an anxiety disorder, the feeling of fear may be with you all the time. It is intense and sometimes debilitating. This type of anxiety may cause you to stop doing the things you enjoy. In extreme cases, it may prevent you from entering an elevator, crossing the street, driving over a bridge, or even leaving your home.

If left untreated, the anxiety will continue to get worse. Anxiety does not have boundaries it can affect anyone and everyone. Many people have become great at hiding their anxiety. If you feel you are experiencing anxiety that is impacting you daily life contact a therapist in your area. 360 Counseling in Clearwater, Florida can help you work through events that are causing major stress.

Be the best version of yourself,

Would you see a doctor if you were sick?

It is socially acceptable to see a physician if you are feeling ill. Why is it so passe to seek help from a mental health professional if you are not feeling yourself emotionally? Our emotions sometimes need help, if you feel any of the below warning signs psychotherapy can help get you back to feeling more like your true self.

Warning Signs…

Change of personality not acting like yourself or feeling like yourself. Uncharacteristic anxiety, anger, moodiness, withdraw, isolation, lack of self-care and/or risky behaviors. Sense of hopelessness or feeling overwhelmed.

Why Psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy helps client recognizes positive and negative feelings and what causes or triggers situations that make them feel good, anxious or depressed. Therapy helps clients cope with difficulties in a positive safe environment. Therapy can be brief depending on the resiliency of the client.

What does Psychotherapy help with?

Therapy can help with a diverse range of problems including but not limited too depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, addiction, family issues and relationship problems. Therapy is designed to help anyone feeling overwhelmed by daily problems and those who have the inability to cope independently.

Seeking Treatment…

Look in your community for a psychotherapist who can assist you in becoming the best version of yourself. Therapy is designed to help you uncover coping techniques that work best for your personality and ones that have worked for you in the past. Together it is possible to build a positive cohesive relationship that will lead to positive change.

Remember seeking help from a therapist is no different than seeing a doctor for a broken arm. You don’t have to carry the burden of feeling unlike yourself. Your mental health has to become a priority in your life. Society needs to add mental health treatment to our normal vocabulary when talking about self-care.

Be the best version of yourself,

Cathi Long is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern at 360 Counseling, LLC. Cathi specializes in therapy for individuals, couples and families.