Change is such an interesting word, because it can mean so many different emotions. Saying that you are going to change your habits and start living a healthier life, that is a wonderful change. Saying that someone has changed and you don’t know them anymore, not so wonderful of a change. The problem with change is that we are only responsible for ourselves and our own change and growth. We may want a partner, friend, or family member to change and improve themselves all day long, but, if they are not willing to make changes it will not happen. Sometimes, and usually most of the time, the change we can make has to come from ourselves and our expectations.
I firmly believe that everyone is capable of change in life – it is part of the beauty of life and being a human being. We have little control over what happens day to day, but a shift in our thought process, a change in our career path, a change in the tone that we speak to our children – can all have an impact on our day and life. I was in a meeting once in the early days of my career when discussing with someone that “this person will never change”. That statement horrified me, and also very much saddened me. I was mad and sad because I did not believe that anyone had the right to determine if someone else was going to change or not, it was only up to the individual to make that decision.
Would that person change? Maybe not. Could that person change? Absolutely.
I once read a quote that said that one of the worst things we can do to a person is make them feel that they are unable to change. That has stuck with me over the years – sometimes we get so caught up in wanting someone else to change or even wanting change for ourselves that we forget the simple power of support. Supporting someone’s belief that against all odds, change is possible.
Here at 360 Counseling, our team of therapists are ready to help you find the strength to believe in change for yourself and support you in your journey.
Beth Polifrone, LCSW